*The Savvy Sauce*
Practical Chats for Intentional Living
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Monday Jul 20, 2020
Monday Jul 20, 2020
Top 10 From 2019: #3 Joys and Challenges of Motherhood with April Hoss
Proverbs 14:8 “The wisdom of the prudent is to give thought to their ways, but the folly of fools is deception.”
April Hoss is a wife, mom of 4, and unapologetic animal lover and dessert orderer living in southern California. She is living proof medical school ends, homeschool hecklers can become homeschool moms, and God has the wildest plans for the most unexpected people. She just completed her first novel, The Sound of Arrows.
At The Savvy Sauce, we will only recommend resources we believe in! We also want you to be aware: We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.
Coffee+Crumbs Website
Coffee+Crumbs Podcast
Timothy Keller
Some of April’s Favorite Recipes:
Beef Stew
White Chicken Chili
Breakfast Muffins
Some of April’s Recommended Food Blogs:
Pinch of Yum
Sarah J Hauser
N.D. Wilson Books April Recommends:
Death by Living
Tilt-A-Whirl
Thank You to Our Sponsors: Jars of Grace and Clearly Filtered Use Discount Code "SavvyWaterFilters" to get 20% off your first purchase. Limit 1 per customer, please :)
Just for Fun and Highly Recommended by Laura
Lara Casey's Product: The Kid's Bundle (Write the Word for kids - have you seen this yet? It is awesome!!!)
Lara Casey's 2020 6-months Powersheets...Not exaggerating: these are changing my life!!!
Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website
Please help us out by sharing this episode with a friend, leaving a 5-star rating and review, and subscribing to this podcast!
Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)
Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”
Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”
Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”
Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”
Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”
John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”
Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”
Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”
Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession- to the praise of his glory.”
Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”
Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“
Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“
Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
Monday Jul 13, 2020
Monday Jul 13, 2020
Top 10 From 2019: #4 Deep Dive into the Enneagram with Enneagram Coach, Beth McCord
Psalm 139:13+14 (NIV) “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb, I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."
Beth McCord is the founder of Your Enneagram Coach. She has been an Enneagram speaker, coach and teacher for over 15 years. Beth is passionate about coming alongside individuals and helping them re-write their story, allowing them to see that lasting change, meaningful relationships, and a life of deep purpose is possible. This passion is what drove her to create this community, a safe place for individuals to explore the Enneagram. Beth is now leading the industry in simplifying the deep truths of the Enneagram from a Biblical perspective. Beth's passion is to make the Enneagram accessible for everyone, anywhere, so they can experience the transformation they long for. This includes one-on-one coaching, in-person events and workshops and online courses. She also offers training and support for those interested in becoming an Enneagram coach. At home, Beth's favorite hobbies are studying and producing helpful Enneagram resources, fly fishing, and driving through the beautiful hillsides of Tennessee with her family. Beth lives outside of Nashville and has been married to her best friend, Jeff, for 22 years (Type 6, Loyal Guardian). They have two teenage children (a Type 6, Loyal Guardian and a Type 2, Supportive Advisor). Combining the gospel and the Enneagram has been instrumental in Beth and Jeff's marriage and parenting.
Beth’s Website
Connect with Beth on Instagram @yourenneagramcoach
Beth’s Free assessment
Beth is offering The Savvy Sauce listeners $10 off either Discovering You or Exploring You when you use the code: 10OFF. The Discovering You course is also INSIDE Exploring You so we encourage that option!
Thank You to Our Sponsors: Elizabeth Dixon, Speaker and Clearly Filtered Use Discount Code "SavvyWaterFilters" to get 20% off your first purchase. Limit 1 per customer, please :)
Just for Fun and Highly Recommended by Laura
Lara Casey's 2020 6-months Powersheets...Not exaggerating: these are changing my life!!!
Other Episode Related to the Enneagram:
Episode 92: The Enneagram Explained with Sarajane Case of Enneagram & Coffee
Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website
Please help us out by sharing this episode with a friend, leaving a 5-star rating and review, and subscribing to this podcast!
Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)
Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”
Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”
Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”
Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”
Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”
John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”
Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”
Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”
Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession- to the praise of his glory.”
Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”
Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“
Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“
Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
Monday Jul 06, 2020
Monday Jul 06, 2020
Top 10 From 2019: #5 Practical Life Tips with Rach Kincaid
Ephesians 5:10+11 “Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.”
Rachael Kincaid is married to Chris and the mother to six children in her blended family. Additionally, she serves at church, coaches clients, and works as a hospice nurse, blogger, and speaker. She uses the internet to share her faith and encourage women.
At The Savvy Sauce, we will only recommend resources we believe in! We also want you to be aware: We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.
Rach’s Website
Connect with Rach on all the social media platforms: @rachkincaid
Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas
Recommended Magazine: Life:Beautiful
Recommended Pastor: Andy Stanley
Sample of Books by Recommended Author, Jess Connolly:
Wild and Free
Always Enough, Never Too Much
Dance, Stand, Run
Thank You to Our Sponsors: Natalie Ann Taylor, Certified Financial Advisor and Clearly Filtered Use Discount Code "SavvyWaterFilters" to get 20% off your first purchase. Limit 1 per customer, please :)
Just for Fun and Highly Recommended by Laura
Lara Casey's 2020 6-months Powersheets...Not exaggerating: these are changing my life!!!
Rach Kincaid’s Other Episode on The Savvy Sauce:
Episode 16: Reflecting Jesus in Our Relationships
Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website
Please help us out by sharing this episode with a friend, leaving a 5-star rating and review, and subscribing to this podcast!
Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)
Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”
Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”
Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”
Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”
Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”
John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”
Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”
Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”
Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession- to the praise of his glory.”
Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”
Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“
Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“
Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
Monday Jun 29, 2020
Monday Jun 29, 2020
*Disclaimer: This episode contains mild thematic material and is intended for mature listeners only*
Top 10 from 2019: #6 Parenting the Prodigal Child And God’s Desire For Redemption With Mother-Daughter Duo, Claire Stanfill and Tindell Baldwin
“Am I now trying to win the favor and approval of men, or of God? Or am I seeking to please someone? If I were still trying to be popular with men, I would not be a bond-servant of Christ.”
Galatians 1:10 (Amp)
Claire Stanfill is an Atlanta native, married to Tom for 36 years. They have 4 married children and 12 grandkids. She was a stay at home mom but now is an empty nester, even though she still stays ever so busy with family. Claire loves to do anything creative, sit on the beach, and enjoy quiet days at home where she can recharge.
Tindell Baldwin has a heart for teenagers to see the ugly side of sin and the amazing redemptive power of a Savior who desperately loves them. She is author of “Popular: Boys, Booze, and Jesus” where she tells her honest account of a life without God and the lies she believed that lead her to search for fulfillment and acceptance at any cost. She volunteers as a small group leader for high school girls at her church. Her love of writing and truth is only matched by her love for her family and most days you can find her at home with her three kids and husband in Marietta, GA. For more about Tindell and her ministry visit, www.tindellbaldwin.com
At The Savvy Sauce, we will only recommend resources we believe in! We also want you to be aware: We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.
Popular by Tindell Baldwin
Tindell Baldwin’s Blog
Connect on Socials: @tindellgrace @clairestanfill
Prodigal Child Ministry
Jesus paid it all, sung by Kristian Stanfill
BUMPS:
Budget
Upcoming Week
Marriage
Parenting
Spirituality
Thank You to Our Sponsors: Leman Property Management Company and Clearly Filtered Use Discount Code "SavvyWaterFilters" to get 20% off your first purchase. Limit 1 per customer, please :)
Just for Fun and Highly Recommended by Laura
Lara Casey's Product: The Kid's Bundle (Write the Word for kids - have you seen this yet? It is awesome!!!)
Lara Casey's 2020 6-months Powersheets...Not exaggerating: these are changing my life!!!
Other powerful stories shared on The Savvy Sauce Podcast:
Episode 17 Being on Both Sides of Forgiveness with Adelle Dickie (Everyone Has a Story Series)
Episode 18: Clinging to Jesus as I lived Through My Worst Nightmare with Angela Braker (Everyone Has a Story Series)
Episode 19: Grief and Triumph and God's Pursuit Though it All with Julie Locke Moore (Everyone Has a Story Series)
Episode 20: Joy in the Lord Even Through Tremendous Loss…Twice with Rachel Faulkner Brown(Everyone Has a Story Series)
Episode 58: Perspective in Parenting in the Midst of Sorrow, Betrayal, and Grief with Former Children’s Pastor, Teacher, and Writer, Penny Harrison
Episode 62: Unexpected Grief and What Helped Me Through It Can Help You Too with Singer and Blogger, Brittany Price Brooker
Episode 79: Radical Business and Radical Parenting with Gary & Marla Ringger, Founders of Lifesong for Orphans
Episode 83: Miracles of God with Midwest Food Bank Founder, David Kieser
Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website
Please help us out by sharing this episode with a friend, leaving a 5-star rating and review, and subscribing to this podcast!
Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)
Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”
Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”
Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”
Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”
Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”
John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”
Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”
Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”
Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession- to the praise of his glory.”
Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”
Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“
Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“
Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
Monday Jun 22, 2020
Monday Jun 22, 2020
Top Ten from 2019: #7 Identity in Christ That Drives Our Calling with Annie Iskandarian
1 John 4: 18 (NIV) “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”
Annie Iskandarian is passionate about communicating God's truth in a relevant way for lasting life change. She holds a BA in Communications and Masters Degree in Biblical and Theological Studies. Annie is wife to an entrepreneur and happily married into her husband's big Armenian family. She is also mother to four children 5 years and under. While Annie is a type-A, focused and organized personality, having four children in five years has taught her to loosen up and not take herself so seriously. In her small windows of personal time, Annie loves to workout at her local YMCA, drink dark roast coffee and sleep! She resides in the heart of Silicon Valley and stays home full time with her little monkeys.
At The Savvy Sauce, we will only recommend resources we believe in! We also want you to be aware: We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.
Psalty
Steve Green Hide em in Your Heart
Sing the Bible, Volume 2, With Slugs and Bugs (Randall Goodgame)
On Becoming Baby Wise: Giving Your Child The Gift of Nighttime Sleep by Dr. Robert Bucknam, M.D. and Gary Ezzo
Stoplight Clock
Just for Fun and Highly Recommended by Laura
Lara Casey's Product: The Kid's Bundle (Write the Word for kids - have you seen this yet? It is awesome!!!)
Lara Casey's 2020 6-months Powersheets...Not exaggerating: these are changing my life!!!
Thank You to Our Sponsors: Experience Oil and Clearly Filtered Use Discount Code "SavvyWaterFilters" to get 20% off your first purchase. Limit 1 per customer, please 🙂
Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website
Please help us out by sharing this episode with a friend, leaving a 5-star rating and review, and subscribing to this podcast!
Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)
Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”
Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”
Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”
Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”
Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”
John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”
Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”
Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”
Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession- to the praise of his glory.”
Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”
Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“
Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“
Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
Monday Jun 15, 2020
Monday Jun 15, 2020
*DISCLAIMER* This episode is intended for adults
Top 10 From 2019: #8 Enjoying a God-Honoring, Healthy Sex Life with Your Spouse with Dr. Michael Sytsma
Proverbs 5:18 NIV “May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.”
Dr. Michael Sytsma is a certified sex therapist, ordained minister, and co-founder of sexual wholeness. Dr. Mike has been working with couples in a variety of capacities since 1987. He currently works with Building Intimate Marriages in Atlanta, GA as he meets with clients, teaches, and speaks at various conferences. He and Karen have been married since 1985 and have two sons, Josiah and Caleb.
Other Episodes with Dr. Michael Sytsma:
Episode 104: Differing Sexual Desire in Marriage
Episode 6: 10 Common Questions About Sex, Shared Through a Biblical Worldview (Intimacy Series)
At The Savvy Sauce, we will only recommend resources we believe in! We also want you to be aware: We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.
Dr. Michael Sytsma’s Website
Kids Night In Faith Boxes
The Power of a Positive No by William Ury
Thank You to Our Sponsors: Note Card Cafe and Clearly Filtered Use Discount Code "SavvyWaterFilters" to get 20% off your first purchase. Limit 1 per customer, please :)
Just for Fun and Highly Recommended by Laura
Lara Casey's Product: The Kid's Bundle (Write the Word for kids - have you seen this yet? It is awesome!!!)
Lara Casey's 2020 6-months Powersheets...Not exaggerating: these are changing my life!!!
Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website
Please help us out by sharing this episode with a friend, leaving a 5-star rating and review, and subscribing to this podcast!
Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)
Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”
Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”
Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”
Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”
Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”
John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”
Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”
Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”
Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession- to the praise of his glory.”
Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”
Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“
Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“
Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
Monday Jun 08, 2020
Monday Jun 08, 2020
*DISCLAIMER* This episode is intended for adults
Top 10 from 2019: #9 Maximizing Sexual Intimacy During the 3 Most Challenging Seasons in Marriage with Christian Sex Therapist Pioneers, Dr. Clifford and Joyce Penner
Dr. Clifford and Joyce Penner are best known for their pioneer work in encouraging people of all faiths to connect their sexuality with their belief system ─ helping them embrace sex as good and of God. Dr. Clifford is a licensed clinical psychologist and Joyce is a registered nurse and clinical nurse specialist. They are highly respected authors and speakers, in addition to being parents and grandparents.
Song of Solomon 1:2 “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth - for your love is more delightful than wine.”
Other Episode with Dr. Clifford and Joyce Penner: Episode 18: 7 Easy Changes to Enhance Your Sexual Intimacy in Marriage
At The Savvy Sauce, we will only recommend resources we believe in! We also want you to be aware: We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.
Dr. Clifford and Joyce Penner’s Website
Books by Dr. Clifford and Joyce Penner:
Enjoy! The Gift of Sexual Pleasure for Women
The Married Guy's Guide to Great Sex
Restoring the Pleasure
The Gift of Sex: A Guide to Sexual Fulfillment
Sex FAQ We Didn’t Have Time to Cover Today
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Just for Fun and Highly Recommended by Laura
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Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)
Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”
Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”
Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”
Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”
Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”
John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”
Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”
Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”
Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession- to the praise of his glory.”
Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”
Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“
Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“
Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
Monday Jun 01, 2020
Monday Jun 01, 2020
Top Ten from 2019: #10 Pursuing Health, Not Vanity Before and After Childbearing with Megan Dahlman
Proverbs 31:17 NIV “She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.”
Megan Dahlman is the founder of Strong Mommas, a website and online community that equips women with the specific tools they need to reach their physical potential, without all of the vanity garbage. She is a Certified Strength Coach and a Nutrition Coach, and has spent years training and coaching women on how to strength train at home, how to easily choose healthy food every time, and how to maintain a Christ-centered perspective through all of it. Megan lives in Oregon City, Oregon with her husband, two little boys, horse and dog.
Megan’s Website
Connect with Megan on Facebook or Instagram
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Please help us out by sharing this episode with a friend, leaving a 5-star rating and review, and subscribing to this podcast!
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Lara Casey's Product: The Kid's Bundle (Write the Word for kids - have you seen this yet? It is awesome!!!)
Lara Casey's 2020 6-months Powersheets...Not exaggerating: these are changing my life!!!
Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)
Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”
Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”
Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”
Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”
Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”
John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”
Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”
Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”
Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession- to the praise of his glory.”
Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”
Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“
Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“
Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
Monday May 25, 2020
Monday May 25, 2020
105. Ways to Enjoy Summer with Your Family with Krista Gilbert
**Transcription Below**
Proverbs 21:29b (NIV) “the upright give thought to their ways.”
Krista Gilbert is a speaker and author of Reclaiming Home: A Family’s Guide for Life, Love, and Legacy, co-author of Focus on the Family’s Give Them Wings, and the co-host of The Open Door Sisterhood Podcast. Krista is a connector of people, and a lover of life stories, family, Pacific Northwest lakeside sunsets, powder tree-skiing, and homemade salsa. She speaks and writes about how to live and love well, designing a life around faith, core values, and priorities. Krista can often be found in her garden, preparing a meal with her cooking group, or hiking a trail with her husband and four children.
At The Savvy Sauce, we will only recommend resources we believe in! We also want you to be aware: We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.
Krista Gilbert’s Website
The Open Door Sisterhood Podcast
Reclaiming Home by Krista Gilbert
The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer
Deviced! by Dr. Doreen Dodgen-Magee
Your Story Hour
Adventures in Odyssey Club
Thank You to Our Sponsors: Samaritan Ministries and Clearly Filtered
Just for Fun and Highly Recommended by Laura
Lara Casey's Product: The Kid's Bundle (Write the Word for kids - have you seen this yet? It is awesome!!!)
Lara Casey's 2020 6-months Powersheets...Not exaggerating: these are changing my life!!!
Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website
Please help us out by sharing this episode with a friend, leaving a 5-star rating and review, and subscribing to this podcast!
Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)
Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”
Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”
Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”
Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”
Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”
John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”
Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”
Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”
Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession- to the praise of his glory.”
Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”
Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“
Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“
Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
**Transcription**
[00:00:00]
Laura Dugger: Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host, Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here.
[00:00:18]
Laura Dugger: One of our sponsors today is Clearly Filtered. Discover their options online at clearlyfiltered.com/savvywaterfilters. Each customer can enter SAVVYWATERFILTERS at checkout to receive 20% off your first purchase.
In the midst of a health care crisis, you don't have to feel isolated and alone. Samaritan Ministries connects Christians who support each other through prayer, encouragement, and financial support for medical needs. Learn more at samaritanministries.org.
Our guest for today is Krista Gilbert, and she's going to offer us creative yet simple parenting ideas and conversations to start now that will actually set us up to maximize our summer later. The second half of Proverbs 21:29 says, "The upright give thought to their ways." This verse reminds me of Krista because she seems to give thought to her summer. And I appreciate her willingness to share that intentionality with us today. Here's our chat.
Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, Krista.
Krista Gilbert: Thank you, Laura. It's so great to be here with you.
Laura Dugger: [00:01:38] Well, I'm excited just for a chance to get to know you a little bit better. So will you start all of us off by giving us a brief overview of your current life stage?
Krista Gilbert: Sure. I live in the Pacific Northwest. I live with my husband, and right now with my four kids, which is really fun. Because normally my daughter is at college, but she's home now. So we're all together. And we love, love, love being outside. We spend a lot of our time in the mountains and hiking and skiing and doing paddleboarding on lakes and doing all sorts of fun things because the Pacific Northwest has such great outdoors. I also work from home. So I'm a writer, I'm a podcaster, and so I spend a lot of time doing those things. And I love it all.
Laura Dugger: [00:02:31] Well, Krista, something that I admire about you from afar is the intentionality with which you approach new seasons. You've always been my go-to speaker for all things summer. So first, what kind of vision is a good starting place for us to have this summer?
Krista Gilbert: Oh, thank you, Laura. I really appreciate those words. That's so sweet. I think no matter what phase we're in of parenting, we can see summer as an opportunity. And whether you have young kids, and so you do things that are more geared toward younger kids or older kids, it's all just one big opportunity for one time that we get to have with our families. It's a little bit different than the school year, which I just love. Because we can be really intentional about how we spend that time.
Especially if you have flexibility with your work or maybe if you're a stay-at-home mom, then you really can be proactive and offensive. I like to say I like to play offense, not defense when it comes to summer. So we can really be on the offense and plan well so that we can, like you said, be intentional and really make the most of our summers.
I always think we have 18 summers with our kids. So how are we going to spend those? And for those of us who are in the second season of parenting where our kids are a little bit older, we only have a few summers left with them. So how do we want to spend that? What kind of time? And also what do we want to see built in them?
That's always one of my long-term goals as well is maybe how we want to spend that time is not necessarily with me physically but it's a chance for them to grow spiritually in a new way or in service or you know, all those things that we're also trying to build in our kids. Especially as we're looking at, for me, my kids graduating and leaving my home and becoming adults. What are some things I really want to see built in them as they grow through the years? And summer is just a great time to really focus on that.
Laura Dugger: [00:04:41] I appreciate how you're speaking to all stages of parenting. But could you give us a quick recap what are your kids' ages right now?
Krista Gilbert: Yeah. So mine are... like I said, my daughter's in college, and then I have three sons. One of them is a senior, one is a junior, and one is an eighth grader.
Laura Dugger: [00:05:01] Okay. And as you look back over your years, what summer memories or traditions stand out as your favorites and your kids' favorites?
Krista Gilbert: Well, for sure summer camp has been a highlight. We have gone to the same Christian camp for... Well, ever since my kids were just born literally, we go to their family camp. So even at a very, very, very young age, my kids were attending a Christian camp.
And then as they've grown, they now and have for a long time attended the camp on their own. At first it was like two days at a time and then it was a week at a time. Now they're actually up there serving. My daughter was on staff the last two summers as a lifeguard, and my boys are on work crew up there. Now that they're in high school, they can do work crew, and they can be junior counselors. So that's a way for them to, again, grow in service, but also to be around this incredible Christian community.
And what I love about starting young in something like that is that it's kind of just what they do. And they grow up seeing all of these role models that are not adults, they're closer to their age, that are cool teenagers who love Jesus. You cannot put a price tag on that. It is the most invaluable thing because then they grow up with that in their minds, and they really aspire to that themselves. But that's, I would say, been one of our number one... one of the best things we've done in parenting is to be plugged into a Christian camp in the summer.
And then I would say another thing that we've done is I tend to do block scheduling with my weeks. So we have a block where we go to our family cabin at the lake. I live in an area in the Pacific Northwest and probably like Minnesota or some other parts of the country there's lakes everywhere. So it's not an uncommon thing for people to go to the lake around here. But whatever it is. I mean, you could just pick whatever it is in your area.
But we block some time that is specifically for lake time. Usually, there's grandparents and cousins. We do cousin camp during that time, and we have family Olympics and everybody shares meals. We take turns doing meals every night. And that's for sure been a highlight as well.
Laura Dugger: [00:07:30] That sounds incredible. And I'm sure it takes a lot of preparation. So if we are at home with our kids this summer and recognize it as an opportunity for more margin, how do you recommend we maximize this season to teach our children some life skills?
Krista Gilbert: I think that's what's so great about summer. I mean, some people homeschool and so I fully recognize that they may be doing this all year long. But for a lot of people whose kids are in school during the school year, this is an opportunity where their kids are home all day and where as parents, we really get to instill some things in them that we want to build.
So there are four things I try to build into every day in the summer. And those four things are work, think, play, and move. So I figured these are four values that are really, really important for us as a family and also for individuals and things that I want my kids to be able to take with them.
Number one is work ethic. That is a huge, huge value for my husband and I. We just feel like if our kids leave our home and they have a work ethic, then that is big success right there. So even when kids are small, I mean, most of the time when you give kids chores, when they're small, it's actually more work for you because they often do more damage than help. Totally recognize that.
[00:09:00] At the same time, as moms, we really get to have that bigger perspective from 30,000 feet that says it's actually not about whether they do a good job on this, it's that they're learning how to work. So for us, we always do work in the morning, because that's when people are most motivated. We get up and we do maybe a devotional, a little bit of Bible time, whatever, and then we're straight into chores because that's just a great time for everybody to rally. We turn up the music, we try and make it fun. But everybody's doing something.
So from the time my kids were little, we've gone through a million different chore charts. But at the end of the day, it doesn't really matter what you do. It's just that you're doing something to teach kids how to work.
Dave Ramsey also has a philosophy about paying kids. Like when my kids were young, we did Dad dollars and mom money. And they could earn different things. For example, staying up late was a certain number of dad dollars. Or a trip to the ice cream store was a certain number of mom monies. But you can also do it as they grow with actual money. So they learn the correlation between work and pay. That's great too if you decide to do that.
Then "think" is the next one. And that is just I want my kids to be engaged non-digitally. So I really want them to be reading or to be learning about something. Often this can happen outside too. Or maybe they have an interest they want to learn more about. So we'll go to the library and check out some books on. Especially when kids are younger, that's just so great, you know, to really focus in on one thing that they really love, and then you get some resources on that and they can be learning about that. So think. Or maybe it's brain teasers or puzzles, or... of course, reading is wonderful at any time in any age.
[00:10:58] And then play. I'm a firm believer in play as a family, that it builds bonds. If you watch kids and how they connect, they connect through play at any age, I mean, all the way through college. So that really never ends. And if you think about it, adults do as well. So how can we tie heartstrings relationally through play, and that can look like kickball games capture the flag and the yard?
Just last night, my kids were learning different line dances on YouTube. We were doing Footloose. That's actually what we were doing last night. You know, but just how can you play with your kids?
And then the fourth one being “move”. This one is often combined with play because we can be playing and moving at the same time. And that's just really great when those pair up. But, you know, they have shown over and over, experts have shown over and over that exercise improves blood flow and memory. It stimulates chemical changes in the brain that enhances learning, it improves mood and thinking, and it also reduces the odds of developing heart disease, stroke, and diabetes. So, you know, it's a no-brainer.
We have a massive, massive epidemic in our young teenagers of anxiety and depression. It's one in four are the current statistics. So that's alarming. And as we look at movement and the role movement plays, it's really important along with sleep, and eating habits. So those three things are so important for kids.
I even think as kids are young, if we can just get them in the habit of always thinking about: how can I be moving my body? That's just such a healthy way of coping with life and really enhancing that brain function. So I think it's just a great time to start young.
And then of course, as kids get older, I think it gets even more and more and more important. And as moms, how are we modeling that? How are we moving every day? And really being great examples of valuing that kind of intentionality with our bodies as well.
Laura Dugger: [00:13:17] I love how you boiled it down to those four memorable words: to work, think, play, and move. You had mentioned earlier that you kind of do a block schedule. So I'd love to hear a little bit more about that. Because it sounds like it doesn't matter on the age. Play is important. But I'm just wondering, as a mom of four kids, how did you do that? How did you prioritize what to say yes and no to keep play high on the list?
Krista Gilbert: Well, I think one of the things is just our favorite things of the summer is when we block time for free time. I will encourage every single parent, if parents have older kids, I would actually do this with your kids as well. But for those that have littles, then you and your husband do it and maybe even extended family.
But you sit down with a summer calendar, and you really lay out, okay, here's family vacation, here is when you know, the soccer camp is, here's when the Christian camp that I'm sending my kids to is. And then you actually put on the calendar free weeks. And these are my favorite weeks that are just... the weeks of the summer where we literally say no to everything, and it's just free time for our family where we can do anything we want to do.
That is so important. Because if we look back at our best memories of summer, they are often the simple things. And really it's when we're unhurried and we don't have tons on the schedule and we just get to be in summer. I mean, those are the golden days of summer. That usually doesn't happen, though, if we don't have some of those weeks blocked off.
And then within that, you can provide structure to that, especially with young kids so you don't go crazy. You know, you have time during the day where everybody gets out and moves, maybe you go on a hike, and maybe you go swimming. But then you have rest time and reading time. Again, getting to that “think”. And then maybe you have a time for creativity, and you do some kind of creative activity. But I would just really encourage parents to be intentional about how they're scheduling.
Laura Dugger: [00:15:33] That's really great to start thinking about now, because then we can also consider: are there any common pitfalls or frustrations about summer that you think could be minimized if we did prepare well?
Krista Gilbert: I think one of the things is sleep. And we forget this. It's really hard here where we live, because we're very far north. We're almost to the border of Canada. So it stays light until 10:30 in the summer. So nobody wants to go to bed. Especially when the kids were young, it was so hard to put the kids to bed when it was broad daylight out.
So it can be really hard to keep on regular sleep schedules. But I would just say, don't underestimate the value of sleep and the way kids act during the day. I know that that for me was a big thing, and it was a challenge. But I had to adapt a little bit because obviously going to bed at seven o'clock when it's broad daylight was not great for my kids. So we adapted to that. So they would stay up a little late and get up a little bit later than they would in the school year.
However, still being really regular. Like saying, okay, then our bedtime is nine o'clock. And then here's when everyone's getting nap. So be making sure they get nine hours of sleep in there. That regular sleep cycle will make a world of difference on how happy kids are during the summertime when you are together day in and day out.
Laura Dugger: [00:17:05] You are so right. That is such a necessary thing that is very easy to overlook. I know another question a lot of us have, what kind of encouragement do you have for the high amounts of togetherness we're going to experience as a family this time of year?
Krista Gilbert: I would just say that I would really encourage one-on-one time with your kids. Because sometimes we're a little pack and we were a little pack, especially when they were young and we were going to the zoo and going to the pool and all these places.
I think sometimes as moms we can get really frustrated with the pack because the pack isn't acting the way we want it to. So that's really hard. And there's somebody melting down. And then we say, You guys. Like every single one of them is melting down when really it's just one.
I think sometimes we have to pull back and say, everyone's doing alone time, which is really good for kids to have alone time. So everyone's doing alone time. I would really make use of audiobooks. There's so many incredible audiobook resources out there. We used Your Story Hour. That was one that we used. And then we used Adventures In Odyssey.
There's some great podcasts for kids out. And I know the library does that as well where you can for free download audiobooks. But put books in kids' rooms and let them listen to something while they play Legos.
[00:18:31] And then you can have one-on-one time with one of the kids. You can just switch that every day who that is. But it is amazing how much you will enjoy your time with that one child. Especially during those dog days of summer where maybe you're halfway through and everybody's hot and nobody wants to go outside and everyone seems a little bit crabby. You know, just separate everybody out.
Some will take naps, some will just be listening to books, but then you can play a game with one of them or make something, you know, make cupcakes or make popsicles. And then you can really just enjoy your kids. I think whenever we're not enjoying our family time, which as moms we know can happen, usually once a day sometimes, is we have to kind of be the physician a little bit and say, Okay, I need to diagnose right now. What do people need? Do they need separation? Do we need more together time?
Sometimes we literally just need to step outside the door. It was like a miracle when I would say, Okay, everybody outside. And we would step outside the door and all of a sudden the entire group dynamic changed because getting outside is so good for everyone and there's room and there's fresh air and there's balls, there's swings. So all of a sudden, it would defuse that moment. So I just think it's a matter of like, as moms, trying to control our frustration and anger sometimes, and really diagnosing what people need.
Laura Dugger: [00:20:05] It sounds like you do a great job making sure, like you said, that you're enjoying your family time. So do you have any tips for us how we can incorporate fun into this season?
Krista Gilbert: I think it's just trying to do the unexpected. I read a study a while back that said relationships grow when you experience new things together. That would be a challenge is how can you do your ordinary routine in a new way? So, for example, if you are taking kids home from swim lessons, could you just all of a sudden swing by the local water fountain and everybody jumps out and throws pennies in or jumps in the fountain? Or maybe you stop and everybody gets popsicles and it's all of a sudden popsicle time.
Kids often appreciate the small things more than we realize. They remember the small things. I mean, I remember one time my kids were doing it, their elementary school, something called Run for Fun. And it's just kids run around during their lunchtime. But I just would show up every once in a while with bags of popsicles. It was the biggest hit ever. And kids talk to me for years after that about the popsicles I brought to Run For Fun.
So it's just sometimes the unexpected, the simple things. So you don't have to change your whole life and create these big, elaborate Pinterest parties. That's not actually what kids often like. In fact, sometimes when we try to make things too perfect, they hate that, and then that actually makes it worse.
So what are just some simple things that kids like that we can infuse into what we're already doing? So maybe that's, can you guys tonight... we're not eating dinner at the table, we're eating dinner on picnic blankets outside. Everybody outside with the picnic blankets, you know. And just really trying to think creatively.
And I think as moms, and I'm so guilty of this, we can get caught in ruts. And then the days just kind of flow into one, into another. So how can we really break that rut and think creatively?
Laura Dugger: [00:22:20] Oh, that is such an awesome challenge.
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Laura Dugger: [00:24:44] I'm noticing you're a super practical girl as well. So let's just brainstorm a few practical applications, starting with, what's your favorite healthy snack for your family during the summertime?
Krista Gilbert: So here's some things that I think are really easy and that I think are great and that kids like. One is frozen watermelon. So we just have that really in the freezer most of the summer where I just put it in zip locks and everybody can pull it out for a quick snack.
I love getting fresh fruit. And then you can always put a fun twist on it. So you can put a spray of whipped cream on strawberries and peaches. You can do rhubarb and strawberry sauce with Truvia instead of sugar so that the kids aren't getting sugar-overloaded. You can make homemade low-sugar jams.
I have a fruit dehydrator, and I just chop up fruit, throw it in there. And that is my favorite snack of all time. And you can just leave it in there for days and then get back to it whenever you have time to get back to it.
Homemade hummus is something I make a lot because you can make a ton of it and it lasts a long time in the refrigerator. It is so much better than store-bought. So I often will have hummus on hand that you can pull out with some veggies.
My new favorite snack is the No Sugar Tillamook Beef Jerky. That's at Costco. It's fantastic. And it's no sugar. So I love that one. Avocado toast is great and fast. I always have pistachios on hand. And I pretty much always have frozen grapes on hand too. I love Frozen grapes. They are so much better than regular grapes.
And then we do a ton of hiking. So I usually have nut mixes. Right when I get home from Costco, I'll just mix together whatever I have, almonds, dried cherries, Craisins, macadamia nuts. Basically, I'll just throw it all in a big bag. And then if we're going on hikes, I'll just make little bags of that, and off we go. So those are some of my faves.
Laura Dugger: [00:26:47] Those are really helpful. So do you have a certain time of the week when you set aside time in your schedule to plan either work or plan your meals?
Krista Gilbert: I have really benefited from the cooking group that I've been a part of. We get together and... we only do one cooking group before the summer and we will make like 15 marinades and then put meat in them and then they're ready to go for the freezer. So even if you're not in a cooking group, you can still do that by yourself where you just do a big shop and have those ready to go.
Obviously, that doesn't cover the whole summer, but 15 meals goes a long way, especially with young kids who aren't eating a ton. So I love that. Every month I'll do that. When we go up to our lake place with our family, that's another time where I will pre-make a lot of the food that I'm in charge of. Because we'll do some lunches, we'll do some dinners. And I'll do ahead of time all that I can. And then that just minimizes how much I have to do when I'm there.
Laura Dugger: [00:27:50] On another practical note, how does your family handle technology over the summer?
Krista Gilbert: This is probably one of the hardest battles as kids get older. I will say for parents who have young children, enjoy the days your kids don't have phones because it is so great. And really, really, really be free. And I'm going to give you just full permission to absolutely do very little technology because someday it will be a battle you fight a lot and on a regular basis. So enjoy that time.
I would say for us we really have to have conversations at the beginning of summer about what that is going to look like to be managing our technology. I don't know if you've ever heard of Dr. Doreen Dodgen-Magee. She was on our podcast a while back. We had a Healthy Way series in January, we had an episode called Taming the Digital Beast. And it was so good. It was just amazing.
She's a psychologist in Portland, who's a digital expert, and she has such great resources. She has a book called Device: Balancing Life and Technology in a Digital World. I love the way she talks to teenagers. And she really does encourage parents to be on board with their kids and have mutual education and conversations about how to manage technology.
We do have a sign up at the lake that says "we invite you to go media free" and we encourage people to put their phones in baskets. I think that's a really practical thing that we can do even as parents. If we just have a phone, some kind of basket or center and we have a sign there. It reminds all of us to go less digital in the summer.
Because as moms we need to also accept the fact that sometimes we're the most guilty. We're on our technology a lot. So how can we just have these little reminders, or maybe you even set a reminder in your phone and say, "Put technology away for two hours and have times of the day where you are not on it."
And then Verizon, I don't know about AT&T, but Verizon has a great family feature where you can turn off technology at just the click of a button. So you don't even have to take kids' phones, you just literally can turn it off for two hours or three hours or however long you want.
And then John Mark Comer is another person that I just love. He came on our podcast not too long ago, and he wrote a book called The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry. You know, his big push is Sabbath, that we actually have a Sabbath during the week where we are completely technology-free. It's a beautiful concept.
And I would just encourage people to think about it. And even if they don't do a whole day, maybe half a day. You know, maybe you just pick one day a week in the summer where you, for a half of a day, are going to be media-free. If you get comfortable with that, maybe up the [inaudible 00:31:12] and then later in the summer, you decide, "We can do the whole day. We're gonna go 24 hours with no technology." I think all of us can really benefit from that: our kids and us.
Laura Dugger: [00:31:22] Well, it's helpful to hear how you actually implement some of this. So I know you've mentioned downtime for your kids. But are you planful and strategic about that? Or what are your thoughts on downtime?
Krista Gilbert: I tend to be a little more structured. Even some of my kids are not so structured. So as they've gotten older, I, for their sake, have had to be less structured because they feel to boxed in by that rigid of a schedule. And that's the dance of parenting. Some of our kids are gonna love schedules, and they're gonna go, "Great! What time is it now? Great. It's art time. Whoo." Where some kids are like, "Can't we be a little more fluid?" So you really do have to adapt as a mom to that.
But I also did something called buddy times. As the kids have gotten older, I don't call it that. But where I would pair siblings. So I would have two siblings paired for an hour block. But I would mix and match who was with who. And that was really fun. And that was considered downtime, because they would just quietly doing something the two of them together.
So I would build it in. But as my kids have gotten older, it just looks differently. For example, we've been under quarantine and so I have certain things that we want them to do every day, you know. And they look very similar to some of those, you know, the four components of summer that I like to incorporate, with some added things as well.
So what we're doing is they just have to hit them during the day at some point. I'm not necessarily going to schedule their blocks like I did when they were young. But I do want them to incorporate these things every day. So they just have to show me where they've done each of those.
Laura Dugger: [00:33:11] I like that, that you're accommodating each of the personality types.
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[00:33:58] These have just been fantastic suggestions so far. But I think part of having a great summer is that we need to be saying no to certain things. You all pack such great things into your summer. What do you have to say no to to make all the rest of it possible?
Krista Gilbert: Well, one, I really say no to any summer commitments, even if I have regular things I am doing. So, for example, we keep our podcast app all summer long. But we're only working one day a month on interviews. So we decide, okay, we're gonna do this one day in June, this one day in July, and one day in August and we'll just do all of our interviews on those days.
And then of course, you know, we still have some other things we have to do. But I really pull back. So even things that I am still keeping going to some degree, I really pull back on. And then anything that would really require me to be involved in the summer, I literally will say to people when they ask me to commit to something, I am not available in June, July, and August.
I am so fiercely protective of our summer. A part of that is we only have so many with our kids, and we don't get them back. And that doesn't mean you can't go do things that you want to do that are requiring, you know, some time. But I would just say I really don't feel badly about saying no to all of my regular commitments that I have during the year. And I think that that is helpful to say upfront when you're committing to something, I am not available during these months.
Laura Dugger: [00:35:43] That's helpful to know. So that's how you actually get your work done. When all the kids are home. You've got it really heavy on one day of the month. Is that right?
Krista Gilbert: Yeah. I can only do interviews that day. So there's gonna be other days where I have to be working on the production aspect, you know, some of the writing or if I have a writing project I'm working on. Four years ago, I was finishing my book. So what I would do is I would take an entire weekend, and I would go and just write the entire weekend. That worked better for me.
Some people get up at five o'clock every morning and will write for two hours before their kids get up. For me, I just really liked blocking time. So that's how I would do it. And so I just think you have to know yourself and know what works best for you.
Laura Dugger: [00:36:32] I think it's always helpful to hear what other people are saying no to. But if you could encourage all of us, what would you advise us to say yes to?
Krista Gilbert: I would definitely say intentionality. Make life special. Because if you don't, nobody will. We are the playmakers. I mean, I was a college athlete. I just love athletics. We are the offense. We are the people who make things happen. We're the playmakers as the moms.
So we get to make life special. So how can you do that? How can you bring fun glasses to the table with a sparkling apple cider and do toasts and teach everybody how to do a toast? How can you make birthdays, especially landmark birthdays? So we do rituals for our kids' 13th birthday or their 18th birthday. We do something special for their 21st.
How can you even be thinking about: how can I do birthdays in a way that really celebrates this child and really is specific to that child? One of my sons is really introverted, and likes quiet, smaller groups. Another one of mine is crazy extroverted, loves big parties. So I'm going to celebrate them really differently. So how can we do that?
Even spiritually. Because life is special when spiritual life is infused into it. It takes on a whole new meaning. It brings in light and joy and comfort and peace and that firm foundation for our kids. And we often don't think about that as making life special, but it absolutely is.
So how can we really make time for encouraging spirituality in our children in the summer? And maybe that's just when you're on a hike, you are talking about, wow, this is incredible what God made, and looking at the little inchworm on the trail, or the leaf and all of the intricacies of the leaf and just talking about, look what God made.
Or maybe that's by, you know, going to a camp and exposing your kids to the outdoors. And what I love about that when kids get older is there's no technology for an entire week. Their souls just open up completely. So what are some ways we can infuse, you know, spiritual life?
And then also, I really like the idea of legacy and heritage and how can we use summer and making life special to include grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins and that extended family that just causes this beautiful, beautiful place of belonging for our children.
Laura Dugger: [00:39:14] This all sounds incredible. And I love how you boil it down to intentionality. So just for people to get started, if they're going to be talking to their spouse this week about summer, do you have any recommendations for questions to ask each other? Or how would they get their summer mapped out?
Krista Gilbert: It's actually exactly what I do for Christmas as well. I always say to everybody in the family, what is one tradition that will make Christmas for you? And then there's six right there because there's six of us, right? So that's already a lot.
But I do the same thing with summer. What is the one thing that's going to make summer for you? Oh, for my husband, hands down it's a backpacking trip. He wants everyone in the family to strap on a backpack and go hit the trail. That will make summer for him.
Well, for me, that doesn't make summer for me. I'm gonna have something totally different. So, you know, it's like really trying to meet the needs of everybody. And if everybody gets a say, and everybody gets to do the one thing that they really love, then we feel like, Okay, this has been a good summer.
So I think it's just really managing expectations. And that's the other thing I want to say is, for us to be expectant is really different than having expectations. So expectant of what God will do. But in order for us to be expectant, we also need to look at, like, for example, our spouse's expectations and to say, you know, what do you want summer to look like? And really having that open communication helps us to be able to meet each other's needs to meet our kids' needs.
[00:40:51] Maybe for your kids you're thinking a trip to Disneyland is going to make their summer when really what they want to do is play with all their friends in the neighborhood every day and go to the local... the little pool sprinkler or whatever. I mean, it's just amazing sometimes how we really don't know what our kids want and really love. So we need to ask them.
I just like doing family meetings. We call them Jedi councils. And, you know, we have a Jedi council and we ask everybody, what do you want to do? And we just communicate. And it just really does set everything up for success.
Laura Dugger: [00:41:26] I like that, being expectant, but not having expectations. Krista, this time has been incredible. If people want to listen to your podcast or find you online, where would you direct them?
Krista Gilbert: Well, I am at kristagilbert.com, and our podcast is The Open Door Sisterhood. So you can find us there too.
Laura Dugger: [00:41:49] Awesome. We will link to that in our show notes and also on our “resources” tab of our website. And Krista, you know we're called The Savvy Sauce because "savvy" is synonymous with practical knowledge or insight. So as my final question for you today, what is your savvy sauce?
Krista Gilbert: Well, I'm gonna say the Voxer and Marco Polo apps on my phone are the way that I keep total relationships going with my friends all over the country who are also parenting and also who are doing amazing things. I think this is where we can build community in a really beautiful way in the summer. And we can say, You know what? I'm really having a hard day with my kids, they're driving me crazy. I think we're gonna go insane. What are you doing today? And then someone can just Vox you back real quick or Marcopolo you back. It's this whole thing of we're all in this together. And it really does build relationships.
Laura Dugger: [00:42:48] I love it. And you are such a savvy lady. Your warm personality and openness to share all of these things have been incredible. I learned so much in our time together, and I'm leaving this feeling really encouraged and challenged in my parenting. So thank you for being my guest today.
Krista Gilbert: Oh, I've absolutely loved it. Thank you so much for having me, Laura. I really appreciate it.
Laura Dugger: [00:43:12] One more thing before you go, have you heard the term "gospel" before? It simply means good news. And I want to share the best news with you. But it starts with the bad news. Every single one of us were born sinners and God is perfect and holy, so He cannot be in the presence of sin. Therefore, we're separated from Him.
This means there's absolutely no chance we can make it to heaven on our own. So for you and for me, it means we deserve death and we can never pay back the sacrifice we owe to be saved. We need a savior. But God loved us so much, He made a way for His only son to willingly die in our place as the perfect substitute.
This gives us hope of life forever in right relationship with Him. That is good news. Jesus lived the perfect life we could never live and died in our place for our sin. This was God's plan to make a way to reconcile with us so that God can look at us and see Jesus.
We can be covered and justified through the work Jesus finished if we choose to receive what He has done for us. Romans 10:9 says that if you confess with your mouth Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.
So would you pray with me now? Heavenly, Father, thank You for sending Jesus to take our place. I pray someone today right now is touched and chooses to turn their life over to You. Will You clearly guide them and help them take their next step in faith to declare You as Lord of their life? We trust You to work and change their lives now for eternity. In Jesus name, we pray, amen.
If you prayed that prayer, you are declaring Him for me, so me for Him, you get the opportunity to live your life for Him.
[00:45:11] At this podcast, we are called Savvy for a reason. We want to give you practical tools to implement the knowledge you have learned. So are you ready to get started?
First, tell someone. Say it out loud. Get a Bible. The first day I made this decision my parents took me to Barnes and Noble to get the Quest NIV Bible and I love it. Start by reading the book of John.
Get connected locally, which basically means just tell someone who is part of the church in your community that you made a decision to follow Christ. I'm assuming they will be thrilled to talk with you about further steps such as going to church and getting connected to other believers to encourage you.
We want to celebrate with you too. So feel free to leave a comment for us if you made a decision for Christ. We also have show notes included where you can read Scripture that describes this process.
Finally, be encouraged. Luke 15:10 says, "In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents." The heavens are praising with you for your decision today.
If you've already received this good news, I pray that you have someone else to share it with today. You are loved and I look forward to meeting you here next time.
Monday May 18, 2020
Monday May 18, 2020
*DISCLAIMER* This message contains adult themes and is not intended for little ears.
104. Sexual Desire Discrepancy in Marriage with Dr. Michael Sytsma
**Transcription Below**
Ephesians 4:2 (NIV) “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”
Dr. Michael Sytsma is a certified sex therapist, ordained minister, and co-founder of sexual wholeness. Dr. Mike has been working with couples in a variety of capacities since 1987. He currently works with Building Intimate Marriages in Atlanta, GA as he meets with clients, teaches, and speaks at various conferences. He and Karen have been married since 1985 and have two sons, Josiah and Caleb.
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Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)
Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”
Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”
Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”
Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”
Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”
John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”
Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”
Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”
Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession- to the praise of his glory.”
Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”
Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“
Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“
Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
**Transcription**
[00:00:00]
Laura Dugger: Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here.
[00:00:18]
Laura Dugger: Today's message is not intended for little ears. We'll be discussing some adult themes, and I want you to be aware before you listen to this message.
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Dr. Michael Sytsma, as you may recall, is a certified sex therapist and ordained minister. He also was my professor in graduate school, and I count it a huge blessing to continue learning from him and his contribution to this field.
Today, he's going to update us on underlying reasons we are distressed with our spouse when we have differing levels of sexual desire in marriage.
Here's our chat. [00:01:18]
Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, Dr. Sytsma.
Dr. Michael Sytsma: Thank you very much. I'm really honored to be here again.
Laura Dugger: Well, all of our listeners have probably met you multiple times on our previous episodes, but will you tell us what you've been up to professionally since our last recorded conversation together?
Dr. Michael Sytsma: Sure. A big part of what I do is providing counseling to couples and doing teaching at various graduate schools and to professionals and then to workshops and seminars.
But the unique piece is 15 years ago, I completed my doctoral dissertation on sexual desire discrepancy in married couples and have just been really curious on what's going on with that. It's been 15 years. Is anything different? Is it still the same?
So we went back and we re-looked at a lot of that data and asked a bunch of couples again to re-complete the survey, added a few questions, or just re-looking at the subject again. [00:02:19]
Laura Dugger: Then from your findings, what has stayed the same over the years?
Dr. Michael Sytsma: You know, when we start looking at the subject and what we're specifically looking at here is the discrepancy between husbands and wives and how frequently they want to engage sexually. Pretty much all couples, there's a discrepancy in it. And for many couples that causes distress or pain. For a few couples, it doesn't.
But the thing that stayed consistent is it's still a major source of pain or distress if not one of the top major sources of distress for couples. We saw again that only a small number of couples actually are really pretty similar in their sexual desire.
So I tell couples if you disagree on how frequently you're going to engage sexually, that makes you normal. That's a primary that couples are going to disagree. For most couples, right around 80%, and this has been validated in cross-cultural studies, the husband tends to have the highest level of sexual drive. [00:03:29] The numbers were a little lower with that. Still, the husbands are the highest drive for most couples.
Then the same thing as we found last time, both husbands and wives are still reporting that they desire sex more frequently than it's actually happening. So whether you're the high-desire spouse or the low-desire spouse, they're pretty consistently saying sex isn't occurring as often as they would like for it to.
So those would be the consistent things that we've seen that showed up again and redoing the data 15 years later.
Laura Dugger: Wow. I think that last thing you said really stands out. Were couples able to give any explanations why they were not engaging as often as they both wanted to?
Dr. Michael Sytsma: That's actually the question that we want to get couples to. Often when couples, for example, come into my office, the high-desire individual, whether that be the husband or the wife, is pretty frustrated at the low-desire individual because they feel like what they're wanting is being held captive by the lower-desire spouse. [00:04:37]
And when I start asking them how frequently they would actually like to engage versus how frequently they are engaging, it comes out pretty consistent with what we found in the surveying.
For example, a husband is most likely to tell me, at least in the office, he'd like to have sex two to three times a week, sometimes three to four, but most often two to three times a week. Most wives tell me that they would like to engage sexually one to two times a week. I point to them and say, there's not a lot of difference between two and two, that he's on the higher end of it, she's on the lower end of that.
But then when I ask them how frequently it's happening, it's rarely that often. Usually, the high-desire person will look at the low-desire spouse and say, "Wait, if you want it more than what we're having it, why aren't we having it?"
I usually interrupt them at that point and say, "That's the important question." Not why are you withholding it from me, or not even why don't you want as much as I do. [00:05:37] It's, why aren't either of us getting as much as what we would like.
And that's where we get into things that are actually solvable and doable for the couple. Maybe she says, "I'm just too tired. There's too much on my plate. I don't have the energy for that at the end of the day." Or "I don't feel like you've connected with me for the entire week." Or he might say, "I just don't feel honored by you. It's tough to want to reach out to somebody who I feel like they've screamed at me all week."
They start to get down to what's really in the way, and it's not the other person's desire. It's something that's almost always very solvable.
Laura Dugger: Do you find that until they come into the office, they're not typically engaging in these conversations themselves to be able to problem solve?
Dr. Michael Sytsma: When couples come into the office, no matter what the sexual problem is, the number one thing we find is they have not really adequately talked about it. [00:06:37] They probably have screamed about it, they've yelled about it, they've held each other in contempt about it, but they haven't sat down and really explored with each other.
Couples can be married 30, 40, 50 years, and they come into my office, and we start asking questions about their sexual life and their sexual interest and their sexual experience. And very consistently couples look up and say, "We've never heard this from each other. We've never had these kind of discussions."
Even as simple as, how do you like me to seduce you, is not a question that many couples have asked. And that very much comes into play with the desire piece. Just not asking what would you like and how would you like for it to be? How often would you like it to be really erotic? How often would you like it to be just soft and tender? How often would you like it to be nurturing? There are different items on the menu, and couples rarely have talked about that level of desire. [00:07:36]
Laura Dugger: Would you say that it's also only possible to start having healthy conversations about this with a third party? Or are there certain things that people could attempt at home that you would recommend?
Dr. Michael Sytsma: Well, I think there's plenty of ways that couples can get started with it and doing a lot of that at home. The number one exercise that I give to couples that are just getting started is to pick up a good quality Christian book on sexuality or a good quality educational book on sexuality, to read it out loud to each other.
I tell them the goal is not to get to the end of the book. But the goal is to read a couple of paragraphs and then ask each other, what do you think? And to take turns in who's doing the reading.
And what happens is they hear themselves using the language, they hear themselves saying the words with each other, and then it prompts discussion. They can look and say, Well, I don't think anybody is like this, really.
I've had times when the spouse has asked that. [00:08:38] And the other has looked at them and said, "No, that's me all the time." It gives a foundation for them to start.
It is important that couples be able to just talk to each other about anything. If you can't talk about parenting or finances or the in-laws, you're probably not going to be able to talk about something as core and central as our sex life. But there are plenty of places that you can learn good communication skills. And that sets couples up to talk about it.
I have on my website a working date exercise and several different sexual exercises that they can do during their working dates. Including one of them that is a sexual communication exercise that just helps couples to kind of begin talking to each other, even in terms of talking about what kind of language. All of that can be done by most couples at home.
If it's gotten to the place that they're really already in gridlock, they're fighting, it escalates very quickly, then they probably need a third party to help draw the energy off of it, contain it, and help them to stay their best while they're talking. [00:09:46] But for the most part, couples can usually at least get started on all of this conversation at home.
Laura Dugger: That's a great way of putting it. As we go back to your update on this study, I'm curious now on the other side, where have you seen the most changes in couples from your original dissertation?
Dr. Michael Sytsma: So one of the things we did different is the last time we did what we call forced choice. Where we asked which of you is the higher desire individual in the marriage, the husband or the wife? And this time we gave an option for "same".
We had a number of couples that actually chose "same". 16% of the husbands chose "same" and 13% of the wives said that they believed that they were about the same level of sexual desire.
Then what we did is we asked them: how often would you like? [00:10:45] And we put that into a calculation that told us if the husband was the high desire, if the wife was the high desire, or if they were actually reporting the same numbers.
And what we came up with was about 20% of the couples were reporting their desire being pretty much the same. It was actually 27%. That was interesting to us that almost 10% more couples calculated out as having the same level of desire than even believed.
So our takeaway from that is couples probably are closer together than what they often realize. They begin to... we call it in our field, make attributions. They attribute things to each other that may not be fully true. So the higher desire individual might believe that their spouse has a lower desire than what actually is.
Quite honestly, it looks like from the numbers that the men are the ones that tend to be missing it most often. [00:11:45] So we're probably underestimating our wife's actual desire. So leaning in and really understanding what is it.
So we saw that a little bit last time, but the significant number of couples that are showing up as the same was kind of new in this redo of it. We did see that slightly fewer wives this time around believe that their sexual desire is about right.
Last time it was a bit over 50% of wives said, Yeah, I think I'm okay. This time it was less than 50% of wives. So it's possible that that's a sample difference, but it's also possible that expectations continue to increase for wives. And so fewer of the wives that we're talking to believe that they're kind of okay.
The most significant thing we saw, though, is during the distribution 15 years ago, half of the couples reported a significant level of pain in their marriage due to sexual desire discrepancy. [00:12:47] This time it was 65%.
So we made a big deal 15 years ago that half of the couples that are in our culture that are walking through your school doors or sitting in your civic group or sitting in your churches, half of them have experienced a high level of distress and maybe conflict over sexual desire.
It's gone up 1% per year, up to 65% based on this sample. That means we've gone from being half to a very clear majority of couples are experiencing a lot of distress over this.
So when couples come in and say, we're really fighting over how often we have sex, I can honestly say that's normal, that most couples are doing that. But to see the high level of distress was interesting. It seems like it's going up, not stabilizing and going down.
Laura Dugger: I really want to pause and unpack a few things that you've mentioned. [00:13:47] First of all, just say a big thank you for the research that you're doing. I think that this is correcting a false belief that I've held in the past, which I was under the impression that from research, sometimes wives reported being the higher drive spouse. Sometimes husbands did. But I thought it was 0% of couples that reported the same. But first of all, you're saying that's incorrect, right?
Dr. Michael Sytsma: Well, generally, when we ask the question, we're asking an either-or question. So in my original dissertation, we did have some couples that showed up the same when we would do the calculations. But when we're asking the question, we usually do that forced choice.
That's been fairly consistent in the research. So we've very clearly been able to say that around the world, that in pretty much every culture, almost always 80% of the time the husband is the higher drive, and 20% of the time the wife is the higher drive individual. But this just is teasing it out a little bit further to show that there are a number of couples that are coming fairly close. [00:14:54]
Now, we could still get it down if you use an instrument that's fine enough. One or the other would be higher or lower. So some of it depends on how you ask the question.
But to get to the heart of what you're saying, I do think that there are a number of couples that are closer than what the couples realize or do feel like, "No, we kind of have that figured out. We're on the same page."
Laura Dugger: Let's take a quick break to hear a message from our sponsor.
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Laura Dugger: One other question you mentioned asking the wives if they... I can't remember how you worded it. Was it if they felt that their desire was okay?
Dr. Michael Sytsma: Correct.
Laura Dugger: To follow up with that, was there a question for the men as well if their drive, if they would rate it as being okay?
Dr. Michael Sytsma: Yeah, so what we asked for both husbands and wives was, do you believe that your sexual desire is about right? We gave them the choice of I believe it's way too low, too low, about right, too high, or way too high. Then we asked them to rate their spouse as well so they could say what they believed they were and what they believed their spouse was.
Pretty consistently, right about 70% of the husbands said that they believed their sexual desire was about right. The wives largely agreed with them. About 70% of the wives said their husband's desire is about right. [00:17:57]
Less than half of the wives believed that their desire was about right and the husbands agreed with them. The numbers were actually 47% of the wives said that their desire was about right with most of them, 50% of them saying it was too low or way too low.
The husbands were only one percentage off. 46% said their wives were about right. We actually had 53% say that they believed their wife's desire was too low.
Laura Dugger: So none of the wives said that they had too high of a drive and also none of the husbands said their wives had too high of a drive. Is that correct?
Dr. Michael Sytsma: 3% of the wives said that they believed there was too high. None of the wives said way too high and 2% of the husbands believed their wife's desire was too high. Again, none of the husbands said their wife's desire was way too high.
Laura Dugger: Then reversing it with the husbands.
Dr. Michael Sytsma: In this sample, we had 16% of the husbands say theirs was too high, and 13% of the wives said their husband's desire was too high. 6% of the wives said their husband's desire was way too high. [00:19:05]
Laura Dugger: Okay, fascinating. Then to go one step further, when they did rate it a certain way, did that tie into a question of how often either the husband or wife were wanting to engage sexually?
Dr. Michael Sytsma: We haven't looked at that, Laura. That would be a good question for us to ask of the data. What we were looking at at this point is how that affects satisfaction, how far the discrepancy between them.
So we focused more on the discrepancy at this point than we have how they feel about their desire. But that would be a really good question to ask. I bet we would find something when we dig into the data.
Laura Dugger: Well, let's go with what you were studying. How did you see that the desire discrepancy is affecting the couple's overall intimacy and marital satisfaction?
Dr. Michael Sytsma: That is really fascinating, and it gets a little bit complex. We initially thought that the higher desire person would dictate, you know, if I'm the high desire spouse, that the higher it goes, the more distress we're going to have in the couple. [00:20:09] And we didn't find that to be true at all.
But it's also not the lower desire. So it's clearly the difference between them that causes the distress, that causes couples to have conflict over it. But when we look very carefully at it, it's actually the perceived difference between them that is most predictive of distress.
So let's say that we take my wife and I, and we say that we are a stereotypical couple where I'm the higher drive and she's the lower drive. It's not my high drive that causes the problem, but it's actually not even her low drive that causes the problem. And it's not actually the difference between my high drive and her lower drive that's causing the problem.
The problem comes from the difference between what I think her desire level is and what she believes or what she's reporting her desire level to be. So for a couple that comes into my office, I look at them and I look at the lower desire wife, and I'll say, "How often would you like to have sex?" [00:21:13] And she says, "I don't know. Maybe once a week." And I look at her husband and say, "How often would your wife want to have sex?" And he goes, "Never." Well, there's a big difference between once a week and never.
And the further apart that perceived difference is, the greater the distress there is in a couple. And that was fascinating to us, that it's not about what is, it's about what we believe is that's causing the problem.
The further that discrepancy increases, the more we see distress in the couple around sexual desire, the lower their overall reported level of sexual satisfaction. So not just in the area of desire, of course, but overall they report sexual satisfaction lower. And we saw lower marital satisfaction, the further apart a couple is.
Our guess at that, our interpretation of it is, these are couples that really aren't talking well to each other. They don't believe the best in each other anymore, very likely, at least not in this arena. And when we're not extending grace, when we're not believing the best in each other, when we're not leaning in, being curious and really trying to understand each other, but are trying to be proscriptive, are trying to be critical, the relationship satisfaction goes down. [00:22:25]
So what we found is, yes, the further apart a couple is, the more problems they tend to be reporting in their marriage.
Laura Dugger: Wow. I can see how that's incredibly helpful for working with couples, and that you've noticed that they're more so relying on assumptions rather than having open, curious, grace-filled communication.
Dr. Michael Sytsma: Right. The beauty of that is, for your listeners, that's something that they can work on without any help from the outside their marriage. Sitting down and starting the process of being curious.
"So I'm just curious, what would you like? How often, if it were totally up to you, would you like to have sex?" And expect conflict back from your spouse. Expect them to blow up a little bit. Expect them to get heated. Expect them to be angry, because we haven't had open, curious conversations.
You have to remain calm and cool. "Okay, so what I hear you saying is this." And just take the lead in engaging in an open, curious, grace-filled conversation about it, and allowing your spouse to unpack it with the hope that they'll, of course, flip that around and then be curious about you. [00:23:37]
Couples that overall can talk about other arenas can usually do that pretty well, and they don't even need outside help to start breaking down some of those misassumptions.
Laura Dugger: That's a helpful next step to work on closing that gap. Do you have any other suggestions for what couples can do?
Dr. Michael Sytsma: Probably just doing some reading. Anything that's going to help them to get to understand each other, even the nuances of desire. We asked if you're open to sex or if you're initiating sex, why? We saw men being a little bit more towards the physical side of it, women a bit more towards the relational side of it, but both of them saying their number one reason they're pursuing sex is for connection.
Sometimes that's really missed with couples. The lower desire often believes the higher desire is just horny or demanding, and they're not seeing it as a bid for connection, as a bid for being close. [00:24:40] And so exploring with each other what is interesting in it, what do you get out of it, and why do you pursue it? Just having those open conversations I think is the best thing for couples to do.
But the other piece is, the gap may not be the problem. Maybe a crazy example is you have just gorgeous hair, I don't have any hair. That doesn't cause distress for me, even though there's a big difference between what we've got.
If that causes distress though, that becomes a problem for me. But it's not about changing the fact that you have hair and I have none. I don't think we would be successful in changing the fact that I don't have any. And many times couples come in and they want to change their spouse, make him have less desire, or make her have more. The problem isn't what is, the problem is how they're handling it.
If we can work on reducing the distress that's coming from it, that's when we make a big difference in it. Helping them to realize we're not as far apart as what we are, or helping them to see that there are different things that are going on underneath the surface. [00:25:52] That it's not just about being horny, it's not about demanding, it's about changing the way we experience the gap I think is the biggest challenge there.
That's what I see in my office, what makes the massive difference. Couples walk out of my office often with about the same gap as they had when they walked in, but they're not in distress any longer. They understand each other and the role of sex in the marriage differently. So they have a much healthier sex life, even though we haven't changed the gap, per se.
Laura Dugger: I love that, because then it's really getting to the root issue, rather than just some of the surface differences.
Dr. Michael Sytsma: Yeah, we're not trying to change something that we haven't, in our field, figured out how to change yet.
Laura Dugger: You seriously do not want to miss out on our Patreon guests. One example from last September is Tracey LeGrand's episode, which discusses the science of female orgasm. She also shares how couples can enjoy a more pleasure-filled sex life, and she brings some scripture to life in a new way I've never considered. [00:26:58]
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I'm hesitant to ask this next question because this is not a talk to focus on parts and numbers, but still, I'm curious. From your research, you said on average, the wife was reporting desiring sex about, on average, one to two times. The husband, maybe two to three times. That's per week. How often did they rate that they were actually engaging in it?
Dr. Michael Sytsma: The actual engagement varies a bit on how many kids are in the home, how old they are, if there are health issues that are going on. If there are little kids in the home, obviously we see... little kids especially, we see those numbers drop pretty substantially. [00:28:00] But most of the couples we're seeing right about the once a week is about how often it's happening.
Older couples tend to report a little bit less than that and young newlywed couples tend to report more than that. But right about once a week.
What was interesting is both husbands and wives tended to agree very closely on what those numbers were, which was kind of surprising. We expected there to be more discrepancy and they were pretty close.
Laura Dugger: Well, that is interesting to note. I guess part of my heart behind asking that, do you have a range, like a danger zone or something to be cautious of? Not that it's wrong, but on either end, do you have a recommendation for this may be on the side of connecting too much and this would be a red flag you may not be connecting enough?
Dr. Michael Sytsma: I would not put a top end if the sex is about connection, if both of them are enjoying it. [00:28:59] I have couples that I work with that have sex daily and a couple of times a day on the weekends and it's rich for them, they enjoy it, neither of them feels pressured into it. So I don't know that we'd put a top end if the heart is in the right place and the focus is in the right place.
For a lower end, I get a bit anxious when couples consistently drop below that once-a-week marker. It seems like when a couple drops to every other week, it's pretty easy for it to drop to once a month and once it drops to once a month, it's pretty easy for it to drop to once every three months and once it gets to that, it's really easy for them to move into a sexless marriage where they haven't had sex in months, they haven't had sex in years.
I think trying to shoot for just that kind of weekly marker is a healthy goal. That they have sex two, three times a month. May be doable for some couples that can keep that on a really consistent kind of basis. [00:30:02] But as it drops much less than that, I get quite concerned.
It's kind of the thing that, especially for the lower desire individual, whether that be the husband or wife, the less frequent they do it, the more energy it takes to kind of gear up and to experience desire.
We're seeing definitely that, especially wives, but also many husbands, don't experience desire until they start to get aroused and begin to focus in on it. So many of the wives that I work with, they'll say, "Well, you know, 5 to 10 minutes into it, then it's enjoyable. And I'm wondering, why don't we do this more often? And then 30 minutes after we're done, I have no interest in it again." That the desire is present when the arousal is there.
So if they're not actively engaging, the desire tends to minimize even more and more, and it takes more energy to kind of get the engine warmed up and get it moving forward. Where if they regularly keep at it, it tends to work better. [00:31:04]
Laura Dugger: For those couples who are engaging in mutual sexual intimacy at whatever frequency works for them, what are some of their positive side effects for the relationship?
Dr. Michael Sytsma: The biggest difference that we see is these are couples that report an overall higher level of marital satisfaction. Now, of course, the question is, are they having sex more because they like each other more, or do they like each other more because they're having sex more?
The answer we kind of come back with is yes. It's a chicken and egg thing that's kind of... it works hand in hand. We see things like an improved immune system, them feeling more bonded, glued together. That's just part of how the biophysiology of it works.
I guess one way to put it is we would see them having sex as more of an energy than a drain. For couples that are struggling with keeping the frequency within parameters that are workable for them, sex becomes a problem area, and it becomes a drain in the marriage, and it's a pressure. [00:32:11] The higher drive is always irritated that it's not happening enough, and the lower desire is frustrated because of the pressure that they're feeling.
So rather than it becoming an energizer for the relationship, it becomes a drain. For couples that are doing it more frequently, it becomes more of an energizer.
One of my colleagues says that sex is only about 10% of a marriage in a healthy marriage. It's 80% of a marriage in an unhealthy marriage. That it just becomes a real stumbling block.
But back to some of the basic stuff, the overall health, the immunity, cardiovascular function, we've got some research that proves that it decreases depression in people, improves overall life enjoyment.
So generally, it's set up that it's going to be a healthy thing for us if we can keep it moving. If it becomes a pressured area, it tends to distract even more.
Laura Dugger: I love your response to that, because I do think that when it is going well, and like you said, when the heart's in the right spot, it just points to our Creator and what He intended for this to be such an incredible gift that blesses so many areas. [00:33:20]
Dr. Michael Sytsma: Yeah, very much so.
Laura Dugger: This may be an unfair question, but if you could only drive home one point today, what is the main thing that you want listeners to be aware of as it relates to marital intimacy?
Dr. Michael Sytsma: I don't know that this comes specifically from the research, Laura, but I've really spent a lot of time with my couples talking about the concept of seduction. And many times people kind of rear up internally when I mention that word, because we have such a negative connotation, and think about it as that means I have to be very exotic. And that's not what I'm inviting.
If we think of a couple that's dating, they are seducing one another. They are always being their best. They're always doing what it takes to draw the other to them. And that sense of drawing you to me, of being the kind of person that draws you, that's what I put the label of seduction on.
So a husband is seductive when he gets on the floor and he plays with the kids. [00:34:20] A husband may be seductive when he's helping to clean the house beside her, or they're doing tasks together.
A wife is seductive when she looks up at him and says, you are amazing, I am so proud of you. A wife is seductive when maybe she brags on him in a neighborhood party, and he hears her just lifting him up.
There are a lot of ways that we can be seductive to one another. We tend to intuitively know that early on. Many of the couples that I work with, especially who come in with desire problems, they've stopped being seductive. They've stopped drawing one another. They've moved to a sense of demanding. "You need to be this way for me. I need this from you, I'm going to be angry, I'm going to be hurt, or I'm going to be disappointed if you're not."
To encourage them to kind of reverse the role, and how can you draw your spouse into it? You did that really well. You talked them into committing to spend the rest of their life with you. How can you go back to being that kind of a person? [00:35:23]
So I would just say if they can move into, how do I live seductively around my spouse? I think that can go a really long way to changing the whole tone of the marriage and of our home.
Laura Dugger: Wow, I love that, Dr. Mike. I really like that language around it too. I feel like you've even given us a practical application or some creative ideas that we can start to think, how can we do this in our own marriage?
If listeners want to take this one step further, whether that's making an appointment with you or hearing you speak elsewhere, where would you direct them?
Dr. Michael Sytsma: Probably to the website, IntimateMarriage.org. We keep an ability to connect with us through counseling. We try to keep up there the different places that I'm speaking. But there's also online teaching there.
You can go through the entire Passion and Intimacy workshop online through our website. [00:36:22] I think it's the third hour or so is an hour on desire, and we talk through a lot of these concepts for couples. So all of that's available on IntimateMarriage.org.
Laura Dugger: Wonderful. We will link to that on both our show notes and our Resources tab on the website. Everyone knows we're called The Savvy Sauce because "savvy" is synonymous with practical knowledge or insight. And so as my final question for you today, Dr. Seitzma, what is your savvy sauce?
Dr. Michael Sytsma: Just kind of continuing the last thing that we were talking about, in part because it's such a focus for what I'm teaching and helping couples with right now is just become an expert at living seductively in your life with your spouse. How do you continually draw them? How do you be your best self every time you're around your spouse so that you're successful when they look over and go, "Man, I remember why I married you. I really like you." And so how can we live in a seductive way in our marriage? [00:37:25]
Laura Dugger: Well, I just want to say thank you again. You're such a friend of The Savvy Sauce, and it's always fascinating just to sit under your teaching. And I appreciate this research that you've clearly communicated to us. I think it's going to be really uplifting to everyone listening. So thank you for being my returning guest today.
Dr. Michael Sytsma: Thanks. I really appreciate it.
Laura Dugger: One more thing before you go. Have you heard the term "gospel" before? It simply means good news. And I want to share the best news with you. But it starts with the bad news. Every single one of us were born sinners and God is perfect and holy, so He cannot be in the presence of sin. Therefore, we're separated from Him.
This means there's absolutely no chance we can make it to heaven on our own. So for you and for me, it means we deserve death and we can never pay back the sacrifice we owe to be saved. We need a savior. [00:38:25] But God loved us so much, He made a way for His only Son to willingly die in our place as the perfect substitute.
This gives us hope of life forever in right relationship with Him. That is good news. Jesus lived the perfect life we could never live and died in our place for our sin. This was God's plan to make a way to reconcile with us so that God can look at us and see Jesus.
We can be covered and justified through the work Jesus finished if we choose to receive what He has done for us. Romans 10:9 says that if you confess with your mouth Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.
So would you pray with me now? Heavenly, Father, thank You for sending Jesus to take our place. I pray someone today right now is touched and chooses to turn their life over to You. Will You clearly guide them and help them take their next step in faith to declare You as Lord of their life? [00:39:30] We trust You to work and change their lives now for eternity. In Jesus name, we pray, amen.
If you prayed that prayer, you are declaring Him for me, so me for Him, you get the opportunity to live your life for Him.
At this podcast, we are called Savvy for a reason. We want to give you practical tools to implement the knowledge you have learned. So you're ready to get started?
First, tell someone. Say it out loud. Get a Bible. The first day I made this decision my parents took me to Barnes and Noble to get the Quest NIV Bible and I love it. Start by reading the book of John.
Get connected locally, which basically means just tell someone who is part of the church in your community that you made a decision to follow Christ. [00:40:32] I'm assuming they will be thrilled to talk with you about further steps such as going to church and getting connected to other believers to encourage you.
We want to celebrate with you too. So feel free to leave a comment for us if you made a decision for Christ. We also have show notes included where you can read Scripture that describes this process.
Finally, be encouraged. Luke 15:10 says, "In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents." The heavens are praising with you for your decision today.
If you've already received this good news, I pray that you have someone else to share it with today. You are loved and I look forward to meeting you here next time.